then I get the freedom to act like it.
I am making a bold claim here. I am trusting that the Maker of the Universe is my life partner, he is my provider, my protector, he is my confidant and my comfort. He takes emotional, financial, and spiritual care of me.
Isaiah 54:5 Says, For your Maker is your husband– the LORD Almighty is his name– the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
As a single mom, sometimes envy creeps in when I see the freedom that women have with their husbands. I see how many women entrepreneurs are supported financially by their husbands and generally have freedom to pursue their passions in whatever they want within reason.
The Freedom to Choose
God has put this desire in my heart to be an entrepreneur. I am not a self-made person in the sense that I’ve always wanted to work for myself. I have actually been the opposite. My desire is to live simply and to not strive. I was a stay-at-home mom for 3 years and always enjoyed myself, doing crafts, going to the library, and attending bible studies with my little one. Yes, I always created and wrote but it was for the purpose of helping someone else’s life be easier. I wrote curriculum for various topics that I read and researched because I hoped that maybe one day I would be able to lead a Bible study or speak at women’s groups. I never once expected that these would be paying gigs. I just did what I liked to do: create.
I couldn’t stop myself, but I had no idea that it was a talent. It wasn’t until years later when I put a name to it: curriculum developer and teacher. I didn’t even realize that I was a good teacher until I was just about forced to stop teaching. Now, each time I get in front of a class I think, “Wow, I’m good at this!!”
About a year ago, God established that I am no longer on the regular job route… I am now on the entrepreneur route, and HE KNOWS, I have no idea what I’m doing.
So I have fought this every step of the way. I don’t want to be on this path because it is scary and unknown. But I have never been more fulfilled in my life in creating, writing, and supporting other women every day. Yes, I cry much more than I have ever cried in my life. I cry because I am afraid that I will fail at something that I’m so excited and passionate about. I want this sooooooo bad. I want to succeed, and I’m scared.
God is supporting me financially, emotionally, and relationally through it all.
At new years, He put it on my heart to become content and build a community right here, right now. Within the first week of the year when I hadn’t met almost anyone in 5 months, I met 4 people that I am building a friendship with.
I have never been without money the whole time that I have been single. And God is supporting me during every step.
People have this assumption that single moms need to do just about anything to make ends meet. I understand the concern but then I remember that they are not walking my path. They are not hearing what God is telling me and guiding me to do. No one knows my path except for God, and I’m going to follow Him.
My family’s survival depends only on my success. Everything is on the line here.
That is overwhelming…. But my God is bigger than any husband. My God holds the riches of the world in His hands. I don’t expect him to drop gold into my lap but I do know that if I trust Him and walk out the plans that He has for me then it is out of my hands and in only His. I trust that He hasn’t led me down this path for nothing.
I trust Him because He is my husband.